Okay - before I launch into how frustrated I am with my ever extending to do list, I need to add this disclaimer.
I have a nearly month old baby, plus a attention-demanding three year old so:
A) I need to enjoy my LAST newborn - this special time won't last forever
B) I mustn't give myself TOO much of a hard time
But, with that said,
Being a mother is so frustrating!!
Everyday I hope I might have the energy to, update my blog, take more photos of Henry, plan our next decorating move - or maybe even DO some DIY, do a bit (just a tiny bit) of gardening, get organised (but, lets face it in 35 years that has never happened, so why now!?), sort out my wardrobe, get rid of some of our clutter, make any of the 1000 things on my fantasy list (blinds for our bedroom, Coco's 'reward chart', kitchen notice board) sit down and do some some drawing/sketching. The list goes on (and on).
There are also some more pressing things, writing thank-you notes for all the gifts that we've been sent for example.
But what actually happens is that each day I have to take a deep breath and accept that I need to focus on the day-to-day. Just getting out of bed, keeping Henry in clean-ish nappies, getting Coco to nursery and back* feeding everyone, blah blah.
I'm proud of myself when I manage to keep on top of housewifely chores, such as washing (so much washing)! What have I become!? And it WOULD be great if I could get it together to cook a healthy supper, rather than wait for Hugh to get home and hope he can magic something out of our bare looking fridge; so add food shopping to this ever increasing list of my not-dones.
And of course I should be spending QUALITY time with my daughter - yesterday that was us watching some tele together and me having to use all my energy to keep my eyes open, hmm, I'm not sure that counts as quality time, will try harder today.
I'm sure this will all get better (I'll update you!) In fact I know it will... but then, I did make the mistake of reading a few bits of the internet about 'typical days' and work life balance.
I warn you, if you have kids, these could seem depressing... but at the same time it's comforting to know that there are women all around the world who are in my boat.
- The daily grind on mumsnet.
- This one... from GOOP why did I read this? I blame the lack of sleep:
- And a slightly more 'realistic' day in Oz.
However as I said in the disclaimer - I am making an effort to let go a bit, not worry and enjoy the little fellow below.
It's top of my to do list.
*Getting Coco to nursery and back - Generally involves an hour round trip even though it's a mere 5 minutes walk - takes 20 minutes for her to get her shoes on after all the 'but I'm just going to...' and there is often some complicated negotiating to do over a piece of pink plastic, or which bag to take. Then on the way home there are melt-downs due to her being starving but when we get home and she spends 45 minutes pushing food around her plate. Urgh.